After the almost universal praise of the iPhone 4S’ natural language-operated assistant, Siri, Google is said to be fast-tracking a competing feature named Majel. Ha! If Apple thought it was the only company with virtual assistants with obscure non-Biblical names that sound like a sauce you put on pakoras, it was wrong.
To be fair, Google’s name is not that obscure -- it’s based on the actress Majel Barrett, who gave a voice to the computer on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Since she died in 2008, we’re really hoping Google goes with the voice of the living Majel, and not zombie Majel.
At this stage, it’s still a solid rumor, but anyone who didn’t see this one coming should have their pundit license taken away. Siri’s ability to process language in a way that naturally references other events like “change my appointment with Don to tomorrow and send him an email” makes typing in Google Calendar look like etching appointments in stone after consulting your sun dial.
Google’s not just going to sit back and have Apple change the way people search and interact with information, so it had to happen some time.
But this soon? The rumor is that Majel is to launch in some form in 2011, giving Google 17 more days to match a feature that Apple bought because it could not just throw it together itself. If that’s true, then Google’s going to be launching zombie Majel because, even after years of well-honed programming, Siri ain’t perfect.
I said “almost” universal praise above because, a couple weeks ago, people were accusing Apple of being pro-life because Siri wasn’t properly returning requests for the nearest abortion clinics. People apparently think that the “beta” after Siri’s name means “fundamentalist edition” and not “unfinished, you morons.”
Google rushing out a poorly-done attempt at Siri will definitely backfire, so either it will have to write “alpha edition, you dolts” after the name or just admit to hating everything it screws up. Good luck with that.
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